101 Ways to Prepare for Lovemaking

101 Ways to Prepare for Lovemaking

1. Choose the perfect outfit.

2. Practice that perfect blow job on your dildo.

3. Shave your legs.

4. Get that sexy haircut you’ve been thinking about.

5. Think about what you want to do to your lover.

6.Call your best friend and tell her what you’re about to do.

7. For an even bigger thrill, call your ex and tell him what you’re about to do!

8. Watch a dirty movie.

9. Get hard for her before you walk in the door.

10. Dance naked in the living room.

11. Read a naughty erotic novel.

12. Take naughty pictures of yourself and send them to your lover.

13.Act out something sexy with your vibrator.

14. Pretend you’re a movie star.

15. Carefully shave your private parts.

16. Look at a dirty magazine to get ideas.

17. Soak in a warm bath.

18. Read love letters your partner wrote to you.

19. Turn up the music and sing at the top of your lungs.

20. Use lotion to keep your skin smooth and supple.

21. Make arrangements for birth control.

22. Sprinkle rose petals all over the room.

23. Touch yourself everywhere.

24. Have the lube right beside the bed.

25. Lock the pets out of the room for the night.

26. Keep a small stash of hand towels in the drawer next to the bed.

27. Light the candles.

28. Have your “toy chest” within easy reach at all times.

29. Start masturbating before your lover gets home.

30. Pick out music that you know your partner will love.

31. Choose a roleplaying game for the evening and dress the part.

32. Dress the bed in new, soft linens.

33. Offer your lover a cock ring to keep him hard as can be.

34. Have a glass of wine if you’re nervous.

35. Come up with new ideas for dirty talk.

36. Pop your Viagra.

37. Clear your mind of anything but your lover.

38. Get in the mood with some steamy texting.

39. Visit a sex club and see how the pros do it.

40. Play with people online to get the juices flowing.

41. Try on various lingerie items and look at them in the mirror.

42. Put on a show for yourself before the main event!

43. Apply makeup carefully for the best sultry effect.

44. Choose the perfect bedroom foods and prepare a lovely tray of them.

45. Take a long, hot shower to prepare for your lover.

46. Wear cologne you know she loves.

47. Leave love notes long before the main event to remind them of how badly you want them.

48. Chill the champagne.

49. Hang the “do not disturb” sign on the door.

50. Order room service — fruits with chocolate is always good.

51. Pray that it will be good!

52. Study up on different techniques for hand jobs.

53. Turn off your phone and leave it off.

54. Practice your dirty talk in the mirror while you wait on your lover’s arrival.

55. Consider an enema if you want to have anal sex.

56.Learn to walk in those ultra-high stripper heels.

57. Use lip balm to keep your lips kissable.

58.Get the handcuffs ready.

59.Watch hardcore porn movies for ideas.

60. Have a bowl of ice cubes ready for action.

61. Close all the blinds for privacy.

62. Put a temporary tattoo in an unmentionable place for your lover to discover.

63.Use colored light bulbs to add pizzazz to the room.

64. Practice your deep-throating technique.

65. Close your eyes and envision everything you want to do with your lover.

66. Have phone sex to get turned on for the main event.

67. Drink plenty of water — sex can make you dehydrated!

68. Set up the video camera or tripod.

69. Rehearse the moves for your striptease.

70. Remember the moves that help you find her g-spot.

71. Hide your best friend away in the closet and let them watch.

72. Clean your bedroom very well — no laundry on the floor!

73. Offer plenty of washcloths and towels in the bathroom.

74. Hop into the shower together and get things started there.

75. Invest in good, rich massage oil.

76. Read up on the best way to give a lap dance.

77. Get your lover going with a deep muscle massage.

78. Invite his best friend over to watch the show.

79. Brush your teeth. Use mouthwash!

80. Wear a butt plug for a while before your lover arrives to loosen up your back door.

81. Learn the art of massaging the prostate.

82. Paint your nipples bright red with a tasty frosting.

83. Dim the lights.

84. Take a nap — you’re going to need it!

85. Send the kids away for a long weekend.

86. Eat sweet pineapple to make your come taste better for her.

87. Make it a date and agree to meet on the bed at the appointed time.

88. Study the Kama Sutra.

89. Prepare your body with smooth oils and soft creams.

90. Spray perfume or cologne on the sheets.

91. Clear your calendar for the next morning to allow for a marathon session.

92. Learn all the erogenous zones and vow to touch them all!

93. Light incense for a heady experience.

94. Consider sex furniture like a Liberator if you plan to try out new positions.

95. Cleanse your mind of any thoughts other than sex.

96. Ask your partner to tell you what they want — in detail.

97. Dress yourself up in their favorite outfit before you arrive.

98. Tease each other mercilessly in the hours before you make love.

99. Plan comfortable places throughout the house in case the bedroom isn’t enough!

100.Tell your lover exactly how you feel about them, and why.

101. Lock the door.

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