101 Online Dating Tips

1. The most important rule: Be honest about who you are.

2. Use a good, current photograph.

3. Choose a dating site with a good reputation.

4. Investigate your dating service to decide if they are the right one for you.

5. It’s okay to use more than one service at the same time.

6. Take your time in building your profile. It’s the snapshot of your personality!

7. Be clear about what you want. If you only want a hookup, say so. Want more? Say so!

8. Use your profile heading to filter out the dates – for instance, “Looking for Younger Man” is a good way to get rid of those who are older than you.

9. Tell people how to contact you. Prefer email? Instant messaging? Make that clear.

10. There are free sites, but paid sites tend to provide more security.

11. Watch out for married daters, even if your site says they will weed them out.

12. If you are a serious stickler for privacy, give you photo only upon request.

13. Use a candid photo instead of a posed one – you will get more interest.

14. Use the message board on the dating site until you are comfortable with email.

15. Take the time to brush up on your communication skills.

16. Do not lie about anything – it will come back to haunt you!

17. Set up an email account that is meant only for online dating.

18. Don’t become overwhelmed by an avalanche of interest. Choose carefully who will get a slice of your time, and tell the others – gently! – that you are too busy to keep in contact.

19. Don’t give out your home phone number. Buy a disposable cell instead.

20. If you call them, use the “private” function on your phone to block Caller ID.

21. If someone emails you instantly and asks for your email, it might be a spammer.

22. If someone wants to move very fast, be wary!

23. Talk with potential dates via email until you are comfortable with a phone call.

24. The first phone call should feel natural. If it feels forced, think twice.

25. Don’t discuss your children or family members by name – someone who really wants to uncover your real identity could use the names of your family to do it.

26. Keep the conversations about previous relationships to a minimum.

27. If anyone asks you to wire money, cease contact immediately.

28. If someone simply disappears after talking for a while, let them go. They might have found someone else, and they obviously weren’t right for you.

29. If you get an unusual email that appears to be from a girlfriend or spouse, run fast and far.

30. If someone tells you they are “separated” get a firm idea of what that really means.

31. Is the picture they posted grainy or hard to see? That might be intentional, so avoid them.

32. Irregular or erratic responses usually indicate someone who is married or has something to hide.

33. If your potential date refuses to give you their phone number but insists on having yours, that’s a big red flag!

34. Beware of someone who calls you at the same time every time. They might have a small window to call because they have another life to attend to.

35. Does your date never answer the phone but calls you back when it’s convenient for them? That’s not the kind of person you want to be involved with.

36. Listen to your gut feeling. First impressions really are accurate!

37. If you had a great conversation or you love the emails, tell them so. Compliments are great!

38. The person you talk with should be friendly – not morose or angry.

39. Talk to friends and other dating site members about their experiences to weed out the bad apples.

40. If someone makes you feel great over the phone, you’re probably on the right track.

41. Make note of what your date says – if they like Chinese, for example, that gives you a great lead on a wonderful first date.

42. Listen to what they have to say. Don’t dismiss the more serious discussions.

43. On the other hand, don’t fall for sob stories – you’re not their psychiatrist!

44. If you have enough information on the person, run a background check.

45. If the person gets upset that you ran a background check, cut off contact with them.

46. By the same token, be understanding if they run one on you. You have nothing to hide, right?

47. If someone wants to make plans during odd hours, be wary. They might be married.

48. Consider whether you want a long distance relationship before you look for partners outside your local area.

49. If you do decide to go for a long distance partner, make sure you and your potential partner are on the same page.

50. When it’s time to meet, consider meeting halfway.

51. Uncomfortable about that much travel? Take a friend with you.

52. Whether you meet a long distance date or a local one, be clear about your intentions.

53. Do you want to have a relationship or just a hook up? Make sure your partner understands.

54. When you make plans to meet, agree to a very public place.

55. If they look completely different from their picture, walk away! Dishonesty is not a good way to start a relationship of any kind.

56. Tell your friends where you are going and leave a detailed itinerary.

57. Drive yourself to the location.

58. Have some sort of protection, such as pepper spray, just in case.

59. Better yet, take a self-defense class. It’s good to do no matter your dating situation.

60. Have a “safe call” – someone who calls you at a certain time to make sure you’re okay.

61. Stay in a very public place throughout your first date.

62. Choose a very fun place, something you will both enjoy.

63. Dress appropriately for your date.

64. Stay confident! Confidence makes you oh-so-sexy.

65. Look for tan lines where a wedding band would be – this is a big tip-off to a married date!

66. Does your date answer his cell phone and conduct business as usual while he’s with you? If you don’t have his full attention, decline a second date and tell him exactly
why.

67. If he seems shifty and keeps looking around for people who might recognize him, it could be more than just nervousness. If he calms down soon, fine – but if he gets more agitated, he could be afraid of being caught by someone!

68. Let the man make the first move when it comes to the kiss.

69. If you hit it off, go ahead and plan another date.

70. If you really hit it off and you choose to spend more time with them in private, let a friend know where you are going to be and how to reach you.

71. Thinking about having sex? Use condoms in addition to birth control!

72. Be prepared to never hear from the person again if you have sex on the first date. Many use dating services just to get laid.

73. Plan on meeting a friend at a certain time. If you don’t show up after your wild night, your friend should be instructed to call the police. Better safe than sorry!

74. If your date pressures you to have sex, that is reason enough to end the relationship before it starts.

75. Want to see them again? Tell them so, but don’t put any pressure on the decision.

76. Don’t get possessive! When it’s time to make your relationship exclusive, the topic will come up.

77. If he spends time with others from the dating service, take that as a sign that you can do the same – and if he has a problem with it, get rid of him!

78. If you know it’s not going to work out, let your date down gently.

79. Never, ever disappear from someone’s online life without giving a reason.

80. If someone disappears from your life without a reason, chalk it up to someone who was definitely not right for you in the first place.

81. Be honest about your reasons for not wanting to continue the relationship.

82. If you want to keep a friendship with them, tell them so.

83. If they don’t want further contact with you, be understanding – after all, they are probably hurt by the loss of your potential relationship.

84. If your date doesn’t want to see you again, take the news with grace and courtesy.

85. Don’t break up over email or phone – do it face-to-face.

86. Hurt as little feelings as possible by making the breakup entirely about you – don’t call them out on their shortcomings.

87. If you’ve been dumped, take the time to lick your wounds and rebuild your pride.

88. Don’t “stalk” your former online love and try to figure out what is happening in their life now – just let them go.

89. If someone starts to stalk you, ask them to stop. If they don’t, consider legal action.

90. Can you maintain a friendship with a potential date? You might be surprised at how many strong friendships have developed out of dating sites. Keep your eyes open to the
potential.

91. When you do find the person you want to be with, delete your profile.

92. If he doesn’t delete his as well, it’s a big red flag – be wary!

93. Cut your ties to those who are still hopeful to have a date with you. If you want to keep a friendship with them, say so – but don’t give them further hope.

94. If you go through a breakup, don’t immediately go back online. Take the time to heal.

95. Don’t use online dating to make anyone jealous. It’s deception of the worst kind for those who are looking for a potential mate.

96. Never tell someone you want to see them – but only if “this other person” doesn’t work out.

97. If anything at all about your dating experience with a particular person makes you uncomfortable, get out of that situation immediately.

98. Be serious about online dating. There are real people and real emotions behind those profiles!

99. If things work out well for you, don’t hesitate to tell people how you met. Meeting online obviously worked for you!

100. Treat everyone with respect throughout the entire dating experience.

101. Remember the golden rule: Always treat others as you would want to be treated!