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If something seems a little off-kilter in your relationship, you might chalk it up to a bad day or a bad week. But if you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it just might be.
Sometimes the signs of a cheating partner are not that obvious. Some cheaters are so dedicated to what they are doing that they will cover every track very carefully. What are some of the not-so-obvious signs of a cheating partner?
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Yes, I know. The kitchen should be clean. The dishes should be done, the pans put away, the floor swept and the counter scrubbed. The kitchen is a place for good food, good conversation, and togetherness. It’s not a place to get dirty!
Or is it?
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Jealousy is a complicated emotion, especially when it comes between two lovers. Sometimes those twinges of jealousy are caused by your own personal insecurities, and sometimes they are warning flags that something is not right in your relationship. No matter what is motivating your feelings of jealousy, they aren’t feelings that you should ignore – they mean that there is something going on that needs your attention.
The two times I experienced particularly strong feelings of jealousy, it turned out that my boyfriends had been cheating on me. Yes, it happened twice. The first time through, it took me a long time to realize what was going on and discover that the man I thought I loved was really taking advantage of me. I let him convince me that I was just being a jealous lover, and that I was a bad person for not trusting him. But the feeling would not go away, and in time I discovered that I had been correct in my feelings of jealousy.
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In today’s day and age of online dating, the blind date is one part of life that seems more common than ever before. Blind dates are also becoming increasingly common even without online dating however, and this is because many singles are steering away from the bar or club scene and are looking for more suitable ways to find people to spend time with. And then of course there are the well meaning friends and family who “just want to see you happy” and have that third cousin, neighbor, or co-worker that you just “have to meet” because you’d be “perfect for each other”. In this day and age, you can’t be too selective, or you will market yourself right off the market, but you don’t want to date just anybody either. And well, who knows how well Christmas will go this year if you snub Aunt Pina’s blind date request. To cover all your bases, the next time you get pitched with a set-up, ask your well intentioned friend or family member the next four questions before you agree to the blind date. And NEVER go by how cute they tell you your prospect is. Use their answers from THESE questions to gauge your decision, and it will save you a world of trouble.
1. How long have you known him? This is a basic question because if they just met them yesterday, you may want to question their judgment. If this is someone they’ve been sharing a cubicle with for 10 years, you may want to trust their judgment. Remember, your friends and family really DO want the best for you even if it looks like you will end up getting “trapped” into an awkward situation.
2. Why do you think we’d make a good match? A lot of people assume that just because THEY think someone is great that you will too. Look for answers that align with qualities that you find compatible with yourself. See if this prospect really does share some of your ideals and values or even a little bit of common ground. If you both love Paul McCartney, but that’s the only thing they can come up with for you, you may want to question this decision here.
3. What is their recent relationship history like? If you are met with blank stares to this one, your well intended whoever does not know this person well. And maybe they’re just trying to find company for a friend going through a divorce or new to the area, or anything along those lines. If they do know the person well enough to give you a long archived record of dating dramas, remember, they know this person well enough to suggest them to you, and that’s not always a bad thing. Use your instinct to guide you through this question, as you would if you were meeting the prospect on your own.
4. How did you describe me to them? This is important as it will reveal what your intended friend or family member really thinks about you. It will also reveal how well they do or don’t know you, and if they truly understand what you are looking for. If Aunt Pina says, “well, I just told him how pretty you were and how much you like cats, darling” then well, you want to wonder how compatible this person really is. On the other hand, if they spew off all of your educational credits, your professional accomplishments, and what a wonderful loyal friend you are, then you know your best interests are being taken seriously and you may not want to pass this one up.
At the end of the day, if you are single and looking, the general rule of thumb is to not overlook any opportunity. The same goes for blind dates, you just need to use a little bit of your best judgment, along with your trusted instincts, and you are that much farther ahead of the game.
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You’re ready to make love. The stage is set – the satin sheets are inviting, the lights are dimmed, the music is perfect. Maybe you’ve opted for candles, and perhaps you’re wearing the perfect thing to get your lover’s attention.
But there’s something you’re forgetting…can you think of what it might be?
Here’s a hint: Take a deep breath. What do you smell?
If your answer is “nothing,” you’re in good company. Many people will remember every little detail of setting the stage in their love nest, yet overlook the one thing that can rev up his libido before you even lay a hand on him. The smell of the room – just like the smell of a woman – can work magic on his arousal.
What scent will work on your man? Keep in mind that the sense of smell is one of the most important things in jogging memory. A certain scent can take you back to a very good time in your life, whether it’s the whole of a relationship or a single night of passion. If there is something you want your man to think about when you’re going to seduce him, make sure that something is you!
Start with your own perfume. If you have a signature scent, your man probably already associates it with you – so spray some on his pillow. Be sure to spray it on your lingerie and your body, too. The response from him will be instant as he realizes that the scent of your perfume means he’s going to be very close to you, very soon.
Is there a special memory you want to invoke? If the best sex of your life happened with your partner while you were on a secluded beach rubbing lotion onto each other’s bodies, bring that memory back with a coconut-scented room spray or other scents that you associate with that night.
Another good option for turning men on is — okay, this is odd, so get ready for it — baked goods. It sounds like a spin on the old saying “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” but there is actually some truth to that statement. Studies have proven that men become aroused faster when they take a whiff of donuts or pumpkin pie. The cozy, comfortable feeling they get from those particular scents will make them more likely to want sex.
What’s the perfect combination for a man’s nose? Scientists have the answer: Pumpkin pie and lavender. The cozy feelings of the pumpkin, combined with the relaxing properties of the lavender, proved to turn men on more than any other scent combination.
So…why not spray your sheets with lavender and find a great recipe for pumpkin pie? Your reward will be dessert between the sheets!
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Phone sex, once the subject of snickers and desperation, has now become so mainstream that it seems everyone is doing it. Now that cell phones and internet mean that we can be reached anywhere, anytime, keeping the phone sex hot is easier than ever.
But if you’re playing the phone sex field and having your fun with lots of different partners, you should be paying attention to safety. Yes, phone sex is the ultimate “safe sex” in that nobody gets pregnant, and nobody can possibly contract an STD…but if you’re having phone sex with partners you don’t know well, you should be wary of the real-world implications.
Most people are already very aware of how to be careful on the internet. Some basic rules of thumb include not giving out your full name or your address, not offering any identifiable pieces of information, such as names of your children or the town you live in, and basically keeping everything “close to the vest” until you know someone well enough to tell them more.
But when it comes to phone sex, many people throw caution to the wind. Perhaps the sound of a person’s voice implies more intimacy and closeness than the words on a computer screen. Maybe someone speaking to you can gauge your tone and knows how to push for just the right information. Whatever the reasons, the safety rules for phone sex fun aren’t nearly as clear-cut as those for internet play – but they should be.
How can you stay safe while playing the phone sex field?
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